Roadblocks to perfect marriages

What should be an ideal way to find a match? A man and a woman meet and then they decide to marry. Of course, this is the practice followed in many western countries but a rare practice in India. We claim we are a modern and civilized society but still keep a highly orthodox perception about marriage.

There are two roadblocks to perfect marriage in Indian society. One is horoscope matching and the other is the practice of dowry, which is used to decide matches by most parents. The bride and groom rarely get the privilege of taking their own decisions. The younger generation also seems to believe in astrology and dowry.

What prompted me to write this article was the recent surveys and discussions in the city regarding these two issues. A survey conducted this September by the matrimonial portal, show that 66% of women respondents voted against horoscope matching in Bangalore while the percentage was higher in some states like Kerala.

The Indian Court of Women on dowry and related forms of violence against women was held at the Christ University, Bangalore on July 27th, 2009 and the reports showed alarming number of dowry and violence cases in Bangalore itself.

The young generation has to be aware of the far reaching consequences of these systems and make up their mind to fight these evils. Education alone cannot erase our false belief systems and practices but striving to develop an independent and logical mind can help. We must rise up against these indignities. Marriages happens in heaven only when it happens at the sole discretion of the bride and groom.

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  1. I very much appreciate the thoughts expressed here and I too believe that times are changing and the arranged marriage setup needs a face lift.Most people marry via the online matrimonial portals but it doesn’t take away the arranged marriage mindset. Where are people with similar interests, goals in life or compatibility – most people are left wondering..

    It is with these thoughts in mind that I launched .As the name suggests, it is for Indians and by Indians. The site allows you to find people with a similar mindset and suggests what may be a good option for a first believes that if the first meeting is pleasant then the rest follows and hence the emphasis on mutually shared interests etc. Of course, it also allows filtering by conventional parameters like education,profession and social backgrounds. Profiles are verified manually and a high quality is maintained.

    Payment mode is a bit different.There are no subscription fees but people pay only when they find a mutual match and only for mutual matches – Rs 99 per match!! The fact that we charge on a per match basis motivates us to constantly improve our match engines to improve user satisfaction.That is pretty much the key difference between and other sites out there.There is an explicit effort to do a matching rather than just list profiles and allow users to look for a needle in a haystack

    Vivek Krishna
    Founder & CEO,

    You can read more at or the blog at
    Visit the site at

  2. Dear Pramod, we do strive to ensure that citizen contributions are readable and correct before they are posted. Occasionally, we do miss some things, but alert readers like you do ensure we correct it at the earliest!

  3. Can Citizen Matters’ Editors please check the grammar and syntax of letters posted by contributors/readers before they’re ready for posting? Thank you in advance for making your readers’ letters readable and enjoyable.

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